I apologize for not having been more active lately — finals and all. So I hope to be able to continue blogging more often than before because school is out.
Since we last left our intrepid hero, the writer of The Teen’s Blog, he had just come out to his parents and was still pondering his great gender crisis. Since then, I’ve been slowly coming out to some more friends. I came out to some friends from middle school and another friend from (the high) school that I’m currently at. I’m currently trying to find a way to come out to another old friend from my middle school days as I’m writing this blog entry. You’d think that coming out would get slightly easier as I do it more and more, but those feelings of nervousness and even a tinge of excitement are still there. Even though I’m out to more people than I’d ever imagined I’d be out to while in high school, or even ever, for that matter, it doesn’t seem to get any easier.
I wonder if, once I’m out to everyone, I can talk casually about being gay and not have to feel this constant nervousness and the fear that someone will judge me for being gay. Does that day ever come?
The Orthodox community that I live in is judgmental as ever, and I don’t see it going anywhere else in terms of acceptance of the LGBT community, even less so acceptance of me ever since I’ve been spotted without a kippah and propping my feet up on the city bus on the way home. (As a side note, this “propping my feet up” thing is not to take up an extra seat during rush hour in a way that impedes another person from sitting down, but when the only people who are standing are those who chose to stand.)
Other than that, life seems to have normalized as much as I think I can normalize it. I’m done with finals, and I hope that I did well enough on them, despite the fact that “normal” really means about as placid and calm as a tornado. Yep, “normal” is a relative term indeed.
I’m sorry if this seems relatively cold and objective and seems more like an update and oddly devoid of my usual dry, sarcastic humor (which may or may not have reared its ugly face on this blog yet), but there’s my life in a nutshell. Not exactly as exciting as I’d hoped.
But what more could one ask for? I haven’t been outed to the entire school yet, which is good, and so far, all of the responses that I’ve been getting from people when I come out to them have been all positive, if not a little surprised.
So yeah. Life’s been “normal.”